It’s a cracker! Did you hear about the thief who stole a 125,000 volt live electricity cable?

Did you hear about the thief who stole a 125,000 volt live electricity cable?

He was charged!

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This is the un-official official jokes page. Tomorrow we’ll all be groaning about the appalling cracker jokes. So I thought we need to prepare ourselves.

Please share your own jokes in the comments section below. They can be small cracker jokes like the one above or they can be tall yarns like the one below. Whether you add a joke or simple chuckle at the offerings, please don’t think that this is a waste of time: After all, laughter is the best medicine. Well, unless you’re diabetic – then insulin is pretty useful.

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The Chief Rabbi from Jerusalem was visiting the Vatican. During a private meeting in the Pope’s personal study, the Chief Rabbi noticed a golden telephone, encrusted with diamonds and precious jewels.

“What’s that?” asked the Chief Rabbi.

“That’s my hotline to God,” said the Pope. “Would you like to have a go?”

The Chief Rabbi said yes and the Pope replied: “Go ahead, but please be brief – the charges are 2,500 Euro per second.”

“Why so expensive?” asked the Chief Rabbi. “Well, what do you expect? It’s long distance!”

Later that year, the Pope was making a visit to the Holy Land and called in on the Chief Rabbi. He couldn’t help but notice a cheap-looking plastic telephone on the Chief Rabbi’s desk.

“What’s that?” asked the Pope.

“That’s my hotline to God,” said the Chief Rabbi. “Would you like to have a go?”

The Pope said yes and the Chief Rabbi replied: “Go ahead. And take as long as you like. It only costs one Shekel per day.”

“One Shekel per day!” the Pope exclaimed. “How is it so cheap. I have to pay 2,500 Euros per second?”

The Chief Rabbi replied: “Well, from here in Jerusalem, it’s a local call!”

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